So what have I been thinking about lately? I've been thinking about how lucky I am and how much help I've had getting where I am today, and how I want to continue that trend and help others with my own privilege so they can get to where they need to be. If we could all lift each other up, how many more people (women in particular) would succeed?
I've been thinking about stories I want to write, heroines who save their heroes, heroes who fight shoulder to shoulder with their heroines, and love stories so strong, they brighten my readers' worlds for a while.
I've been thinking I want to hit the USAToday Bestsellers list, and I want to reach so many more people so I can brighten their worlds, too. If y'all have any good ju-ju to help that come true, I sure could use it. :)
I've been thinking I want to be a wish-giver to help others who need it, to move out of their own dire straits. And I've been thinking that we've all been rather stingy on compassion and generous with indifference.
We have about 60,000 thoughts a day and these are just a few of mine. But I've also been thinking about how frustrated, scared, and angry I am, which is not a good recipe for writing romance. My mom recently sent an email that had four things to make us happier, and two of the four stood out to me. The first was "This shouldn't be happening." The author of the article said this was a debilitating thought because we already know life isn't fair, but we walk around saying it and meaning "life isn't fair to everyone but me. It should be fair to me." See the problem? When things don't go the way we think they should, we get miserable and angry. The solution: Refute and replace with, "Remember life isn't fair and this is one of those times. No need to get frustrated. What can be done to change the outcome?"
The second one that stuck with me was "I should be worried about this." Worrying for the sake of worrying. Or the assumption that if you're not worried about something, you're disconnected and indifferent to it. Neither of these are true or helpful. Worrying doesn't actually change what's wrong or what might go wrong, it's just exhausting so you can't take care of whatever does happen. But the article says worrying is a sign that something needs to be addressed. Their solution? Schedule a worry half hour. That's right, sounds silly, but set aside some time, say 11:00 - 11:30 am to do your worrying; about finances, about aging parents, about politics, about everything, and don't allow anyone to infringe on your worry half hour. And afterwards, leave the worrying until the next day. When it comes up between these times, refute and replace with "I'll worry about that at 11:00 am." And while your half hour is going, you can try to put some of those worries to bed so they don't come up again.
My biggest worry is I haven't done enough. Enough to change my local politics, my country, my community. Between email and social media, there's a lot going on right now and it feels like there's too much to address.
What will I do?
I'll save my worrying for a half an hour each day, I'll focus on the few things I can do, and I'll try to live in the moment, because if the moment isn't scary, then I don't have time to worry. Ram Das once said, "Right now, I'm okay." If you can say that in each moment, you don't have time to worry. Even in the midst of fear, if you can say that phrase, it will change your perspective on what's going on. "Right now, I'm okay." I'll worry when the moment calls for it. Right now, it doesn't. :)
There are several other authors doing their brain dumps. Check them out below.